I recently had a new client choose to work with me 1 on 1.
She said to me “I am SO excited to work with you, I have been wanting to coach with you for soooo long and I KNOW I meant to be working with you”
I was curious, so I asked, “What was it that had you wait so long to work with me, how come you didn’t apply right away when your Soul said yes?”
She responded “I was afraid of what you might think of me…”
“I was afraid that you would judge what I have done, what I have said, what I didn’t say, and how much of a complete f*ck up I am”
Wow – I was not expecting that.
It is SO interesting the reasons people choose not to take action on something they know deep down inside they are meant to be doing.
Fear of judgment is HUGE.
Fear of what other people might think,
Fear of not belonging to a particular crowd,
Fear of not being accepted by parents, mentors, preachers, teachers, society etc.
It’s just crazy how deep rooted this fear of not belonging is.
So one of the cool things about working with me in my own biased opinion,
Is that I can’t actually judge you.
You might be thinking “yeah right doc!!!…liar! I’ve heard that before!”
From the paradigm I operate from,
Is that anything I am judging in someone else,
Is actually just a reflection of what I am judging in myself.
If I am judging the narcissistic traits in you,
I am also judging the narcissistic traits in me,
If I am judging your situation and life choices,
There will be an area of my life in which I am also judging and feeling shame and guilt over.
So when it comes down to it,
You remind me of all the parts I am not loving in myself.
And I choose to love all of myself,
Even the tough bits,
The nasty bits,
The bits I try to hide,
Because guess what….we have ALL of the bits,
In our own forms,
So when you coach with me,
And you bring up your thoughts, emotions and past experiences,
I smile compassionately, I nod – because I can relate.
I’ve been there too, at some point, in some form, in my own experience.
And got through it.
There is nothing you can do or say,
that makes you unworthy of love.
AND…
In my perception,
This IS the experience of life,
It’s about owning ALL your bits….
The good,
The bad,
The undesirable,
And recognizing the fullness of who you are.
So if you’ve been reading my posts,
My messages,
And you relate,
you resonate,
Your Soul is saying YES,
Yet you’ve felt scared to reach out,
In fear of what I might think,
Or others may think of you if you are “coaching” with someone and that you “need help”,
Just know that whoever is judging you,
Is actually just judging themselves.
And the best way you can be with judgment,
Is to love and appreciate that which you are judging.
Inside yourself.
And that’s when the mirror reflection of your own life,
will begin to turn into a smile,
Instead of the fear frown.
Hope this helps,
XO
P.S and if you don’t belong, create your own crowd, it’s much more fun that way anyway. rules and *norms* are meant to be broken by leaders like you
