If you’ve ever felt like you’re on a rollercoaster of high highs and low lows, keep reading
One of the most common patterns I see in high performers is the emotional swing between extreme pride and elation to deep doubt, uncertainty and feelings of failure.
So what is actually happening here?
High performers pour a tremendous amount of time, energy, and dedication into their craft, fueled by a big vision. Naturally, they want to achieve their vision as quickly as possible.
But life, as we know, doesn’t always work that way.
Obstacles and setbacks can challenge your belief in your abilities and make you question if success is even possible.
I’ve been there—many times, and in many forms, throughout my life. In hockey, school, business and even relationships.
So what’s the key to breaking this exhausting pattern?
The key to breaking this pattern is understanding & transcending the Vicious Pride-Shame cycle.
A major focus in my work with clients is recognizing the intense pride or elation that high performers often feel as they push toward excellence.
But hidden beneath that pride is also entangled unconscious shame, with fear of failure or not being “good enough.”
This pattern causes the emotional and volatile highs and lows, but once I help them dissolve that shame, they are grounded, centered, and stable. And their authentic confidence begins to naturally shine through.
They break free from the cycle.
Think of it like a fire. Fire has incredible energy, passion and potential—it can cook food, create warmth, and fuel progress. But if left unchecked, it can also burn out of control and cause incredible destruction in a very short period of time. Think forest fires.
For high performers like yourself, managing your emotions is critical to your success and the fulfillment of your goals.
Staying grounded and centered, prevents the volatility that leads to feelings of defeat, disbelief, or even failure.
The journey to your dreams doesn’t have to be an emotional rollercoaster. It’s about learning to control the fire within. And the one thing I’ve learned is that if we don’t humble and manage ourselves, the Universe will for us.
Cheers to the sustainable pursuit of your dreams.
You got this,
Dr. Shelby
